I've been at my job for about a year now. I graduated last year in May and now I'm out on my own, trying to make a name for myself in a new town. At least, I still it a "new town." Like I said, I've been here for a little over a year now. As I look around the apartment, I'm beginning to notice a lot of changes in my lifestyle. I now have a desk and a nice new computer, I actually have a bed now (well, a futon, but it beats sleeping on the floor), and even a little weight bench. Before me are the means for improving myself, both in mind and body. However, it's been a year, and I still don't feel that the current Democrab is that much better than last year's Democrab.
I don't feel completely the same. I have a great girlfriend, I've closed out some high-savings projects at work, and I even survived the great reduction-in-force a few months back. I feel a little more physically fit and my finances are finally out of the red and into the black. Life is a little simpler now; go to work, make a few bucks, hang out with Heather, play video games, hang out with the guys at work, and repeat in no particular order. The trouble I found at school isn't here in this new little world. I don't have to memorize how to find the Reynolds Number for turbulent fluid flow or the differential equations for different reactors. I look 'em up at my leisure, or just let a slick computer program do it for me. I don't have to scrounge around for money and scholarships. Now someone pays
me for working all the time, not the other day around.
I thought this was going to be the life, but I miss the studying and the frantic deadline-busting cram sessions. I miss it because of the people. I made a lot of friends back then, and even if we didn't necessarily see eye to eye on certain issues, at least we got along well enough to respect each other for the work we had to do. There was a lot of cooperation back then. Not to say that I don't cooperate with people at work, but it's not quite the same as it used to be. We had to really depend on each other. If one person was drowning, they could pull the entire team with them; letting them drown was unacceptable. In the world of business, it's a lot easier to cut someone's lifeline and let them float off to sea if they were dragging down the team. It's a cutthroat world out there, and weak performers are dropped to help the company. A "necessary evil," I suppose, but still, it's a sobering reminder that the people who employ you do so not because they thought you were an interesting person and a potential friend, but because they think you're an asset to the company.
I need a project to work on. Even if I'm not in school anymore, I still want to have that kind of drive. Now that I have half an idea as to what I'm doing now, going back on those old notes might not seem so bad. I think it'll do me a lot of good to study for the PE exam, which is what I'm looking at now. Even if I don't get it right away, having that knowledge base would still be beneficial.
I owe to the people that I knew in college and the people I meet now to continue my education. I don't want to stagnate, and I certainly want to be a better person for the people who have really gotten to know me in the last few years.
Comments (3)
I think it's really admirable the way you reflect on your life then and now, and you have this urge to improve, to continue to make yourself better. Good luck!
Lifelong learning is a necessity - for job growth and personal growth. When was the last time you read a book for pleasure? There is probably no better way to become a good conversationalist than to have read the "classics" found on most college prep reading lists. Although the company may view you as an asset, your immediate supervisor sees the person. Keep learning new things - like how to filet a northern pike, or remove wallpaper, or even how to change the oil in your car... Don't look at personal changes and bemoan the amount of change instead evaluate the quality of change - was it positive? Can it be sustained? Slow and steady like a glacier is much better than volcanic eruption and earthquake changes. Just saying.
I know what you mean. Great aspiration; keep moving forward!