Let's begin with Old Man Pie. I found this particular song very moving.

Now, on to other things. The quote in my title comes from one of the operators at the plant. He told me this quote in the form of a complaint about work, which I found interesting since it was a lot more elegant than the usual complaint of "man, work sucks" that I usually hear. Well, of course it sucks. It's work. Now, give me a reason why it sucks and now we're cookin' with gas!

Yesterday was interesting for two reasons. 1) My girlfriend is the best, and 2) I quit Taekwondo. Well, today was actually the official "I quit" day since I wanted to show up for sparring, which turned out to be pretty "meh" altogether. Perhaps it's my own shortsightedness that's preventing me from reaching down deep into the wells of TKD knowledge and walking away with a new thought after every lesson, or maybe, just maybe, I'm actually right about something for a change.

Predictably, I am now going to offer a fairly one-sided description of my problems with TKD and why I decided that Kenjutsu is the way to go.

1) Respect - My dad is unique amongst most people in that he respects everyone and won't think down on a person until they prove himself/herself to be a complete douchebag. In other words, whereas most people won't respect you until you earn that respect, my dad gives it out for free until you fuck up. He's tried instilling that value in me, which admittedly, has been difficult to accept. I tend to pass judgment quickly, but I try to be respectful of everyone until they prove that they don't deserve it. I don't like it when leaders assume that everyone is like that and then demand more authority up front just because of their rank. In other words, if I call you "sir" or "ma'am," you're getting the exact same respect as everyone else. Some of the leadership at the TKD place have the problem of presumed importance - I'm a leader, I'm in the leadership program, and you will respect me! Fun fact, guys: I respect you for being a human being, and I respect you more for working hard and being a leader, but if you wave that pedigree in front of my face and demand respect, I'm knocking you down a few notches on the totem pole.

2) Statistics - Interestingly enough, yesterday's leadership meeting (which I attended) had to do with student retention. Great day to quit, huh? But anyway, the instructor noted that only the most dedicated, talented, and hard-working students make it to black belt and keep going. He said that he didn't really get to know most of the beginners since, well, they probably wouldn't be around much longer. This is a world of difference from my kenjutsu instructor, who still calls from time to time, sends emails about upcoming seminars, and even drives me around Lubbock whenever I visit. The TKD guy told us to never get personal with the students, keep it strictly teacher-student as far as relationships go. The kenjutsu sensei would take our class out for sushi and get to know us on a personal basis; he said that one thing that made our organization strong was that we acted like a family, not a business. If wanting to train with my friends in an art that makes more sense to me puts me in the statistics for the "lazy, undedicated students," then sign me up and save me a beer and a seat on the couch.

3) "McDojo" - My kenjutsu instructor operates out of a small, rented office that is roughly the same size as my apartment and uses Tech's Rec Center mat room for classes whenever it's open. At most, the kenjutsu class might have 15 people show up at once. The TKD instructor has two facilities; one of them is brand new and the reception area alone is bigger than my entire apartment. The floor is massive and class sizes average about 20/class. There are several classes being offered Monday through Friday. It has a pro shop, offices, two bathrooms, and a commercial drink fridge. Advertisements are everywhere.

Both instructors claim that other dojos are too commercial and only focus on money. They refer to them as "McDojos." For one of these facilities, it's like the pot calling the kettle black.

4) Disney - One thing that kind of made me wary of TKD was the business model outlined to us yesterday at the leadership meeting. Apparently, the leadership has to follow a strict script when advertising or answering the phone. The instructor even said they practice in the mornings by trying to throw each curveballs that a customer might ask. "Study the clientele, and fit the service to them" was one of the lessons learned. Apparently, that's the Disney model of business. Change the service to fit the customer. Now, here's the thing. I like it when an instructor is inviting and flexible, but I can guarantee you that I won't like the service if I never wanted it in the first place. I don't mean "didn't ask for," but "no-thank-you-I-do-not-want-this-product."

My dad believes in the old Buddhist proverb "The teacher will appear when the student is ready." In his eyes, forcing a student to do math or learn shortcuts will only result in failure or a little puppet that does math tricks if it remembers which strings need to be pulled and when. If the students don't take it seriously, then neither does he. If, however, you put some effort into it, he'll bend over backwards to help you, which is really something seeing as how I have his flexibility genes and I am not flexible at all. If you want it, he'll do anything to help, but it has to start with the student wanting it. I think most of the student base in the US could benefit like the Dickens if they'd just work for their education instead of thinking they're entitled to it, but that's another can of worms. The point here is that in martial arts, you can custom-tailor every teaching style in existence, but if they didn't want to do it in the first place, the most you're going to end up with in the end is a lackluster student with bad knees who keeps giving you money because they feel obligated to, not because they actually want to train.

5) Money - This is simple enough. I'll pay for instruction, but dammit, I'm tired of paying for all this other shit. My old instructor taught kenjutsu as a second job and never made a dime on the profits - it all goes back into the studio. My new instructor runs two businesses. I want my dojo to be a place for training, not a Goddamn business. I understand that as a business, you gotta make money and get to the bottom line, but I don't like it when the business aspect skews the training and dictates how people are treated within the organization.

6) Knees - I know at least five people who've had serious knee injuries in TKD. I don't know anyone who's been seriously injured at all in kenjutsu. Seems reasonable.

7) Self-defense - The basics of self-defense that I learned in taijutsu and kenpo work, because I've used them before and they've proven themselves effective. I've had them done on me, and believe me, they hurt like hell. Koppojutsu put bruises on my arms that didn't go away for weeks, and the instructor barely had to move at all to put 'em there. I doubt that I'll ever use TKD in a fight. Ever. Too blocky and too sport-like for my tastes, anyway. I imagine there's some people out there who might be able to use it, but it doesn't feel natural to me, and that's one of the biggest factors in how well you'll perform in a fight.

*ahem*

I could go on, but after eating a delicious comfort meal of fried chicken and macaroni and cheese, I feel a little better now. I do enjoy fried chicken and mac/cheese... Also, I'm tired, so I'm out for now. Peace out, homies.